Be authentically you!
Updated June 13th, 2022
It is easy in the social media age we live in to fixate on what we should, would and could be.
I have done it myself. Wondering if what I am is enough.
Especially when planning a special celebration, like a wedding, it is easy to get wrapped up in what we should, would and could have. But the best way to have the most wonderful day of your life? Simply by being you!
Just like in life your special day should really reflect who you are. Not a projected view, for show. But deeply personal and represent either you (for a solo celebration) or you as a couple (i.e. for a wedding).
We are all guilty of scrolling through Instagram, coveting the dreamy images or building the Pinterest board. This is great for inspiration and ideas but the actual day itself should be a true representation of you. Not a style you have adopted because it is what you think you should be wearing or doing. You should be able to look back on and know you were authentically you.
Our support network can often influence us. Maybe you have a military father who insists everyone should be wearing uniform? Or a traditional mother who keeps dropping hints as to who should be sat at a top table? If that suits you then that is great, however if not remember just who’s wedding this is! Yours! As a couple making decisions you may need to come to some compromises. If he insists on bringing the smelly family dog you may just have to let that one slide. Maybe agree it can come but it stays outside! But anyone offering advice and opinions other than your partner really should be taken with a pinch of salt. Events and especially weddings have changed. The traditional rituals remain but they have become so much more personal and the scope of what can be done is huge. How the day goes is entirely your choice. If you want to abandon the top table do it! If you don’t want to have a first dance, even though every generation before you has, then don’t. This day is something you will only do once… let it be your day!
With a celebrant led ceremony you get to do this. You get to choose the elements you want to include, you get to have a theme running through the ceremony if you wish and you get to decide on the spoken words.
Love stories are all different. Like people no two are ever the same. Telling your story and including those little personal moments is enchanting and always makes for a memorable time for your guests. But the important thing to remember is to be true to you.
Maybe you are not romantic and you are totally ok with that? Not everyone is and love can be shown in many ways. Maybe you would prefer to have some comedy in your wedding? Maybe you and your partner don’t say I love you but use something else to express your love? The joy of a celebrant ceremony is there are no rules and you can say whatever you want.
Being authentic and real will shine through and make for a really interesting and memorable occasion.
I remember going to a wedding a few years ago in a village church. The bride and groom were both atheists and I was surprised when I received their invite to see it was being held in a church. On the day the words they said felt wrong. Their lips were moving but I could feel nothing. And we all knew why it didn’t feel right. Because they were firstly not their own words and secondly because we all knew they didn’t believe anything they were saying! I know we were all hoping the ceremony would pass quickly because it just felt so awkward. The rest of the day was lovely with some wonderful touches but there was no warm fuzzy feeling when I thought about the actual ceremony. When talking to the bride since she has admitted that they only wanted the church as her parents had been married there many years before. They wanted their photographs to emulate her parents and hadn’t realised what they would be expected to say with all of the religious connotations. She said she too felt a bit strange about it all. I am still working my magic on convincing her to have a vow renewal with a more authentic feel with a wonderful Celebrant I know! A girl’s got to try!
Above all else, when you are considering all of the options for your big day remember these important rules – stay true to yourself, be you and have the day that you want!